Serenity Now!

Had an exciting few days. Thanksgiving was, of course, really nice. Nicest was that Dave was with us all that extra time. He left our smelly bums already and is back up yonder. I hear it snowed 6 inches after we left in Sequim. We’re only getting flurries here so far!

Saturday we had Audra Jr’s birthday party. We combined with her best friend whose birthday is only a week or so earlier. It was really fun! We did it at “Kid’s Club”, a big kids place right near our house. It was a gymnastics party, so they ran around and played on all the fun equipment, including the trampoline belt. Audra loved that, of course. The girl has no fear!

Then, that night, we took the kids to their first real “rock” concert–The Barenaked Ladies. It was a complete blast. I was sitting there, listening to our favorite band, thinking, “I could listen to them all night.” The best part was glancing over and seeing Isaak with his hand at his mouth, pretending to be singing into a mic. They kids both absolutely loved it. It was a memory we’ll have forever.

Isaak came home with some schoolwork, including a Thanksgiving project. One assignment was “What I’m Thankful For.” I had to copy it:

“I’m thankful for the prophets because their words are true. They say them in the scriptures. My favorite is Moses because there are five books of Moses in the Bible, and one book in the Pearl of Great Price.
“I’m thankful for the prophets (especially Moses) because the words teach us many things. Their words can be found in the scriptures. When I become a missionary, I will teach families the Bible, then the Book of Mormon, next the Doctrine & Covenants, and finally the Pearl of Great Price. In these days, we have Latter-Day prophets. My favorite is President Hinckley because he has taught us many things.
“I want to teach all of those things to you when I’m 20. I want everybody in the world to know, all six and a half billion of you, that the prophets’ words are true. You’ll all find them in the scriptures. No matter what language you speak, you will understand the scriptures, be baptized, and be confirmed to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I will teach you more about the prophets and the scriptures.
“I’ll be back for now… But very soon.”

So, you might get the impression that we’re this big bible-thumping, proselyting family or something! Heh. Pretty funny. I like the reason why he likes Moses–because there are so many of his books in the scriptures. And I like how at the end you get the message, “Oh, you WILL be baptized!” What a little Jihadist! Kill the infidels!

I think it’s hilarious that he turned this into his teacher. Surprised he didn’t get expelled for talking about religion! The boy has no fear. Not a whole lot of common sense, either, but no fear.

Well, if he ever does get to go on a mission, I’ll have to send this along with him to remind him of how important it was to him at 9-years-old.

Happy Birthday, Dad! Are you officially 65 now? Ready to retire?

We’ve had a few pretty good days. Isaak still struggle a little at school, but my school week went really well. I really like my job. I look forward to going each day, I feel very confident and comfortable in what I’m doing, and I really think I might be doing some good! What a great feeling.

Last night, I took to the kids to the Vancouver Game Club. It’s a local “club” for kids with Asperger’s and High-functioning autism. They set up some video games, have a bunch of board games out, play Bingo; stuff like that. The one in Portland is really big, but this was nice because it was local families. There was a pretty good turn out (maybe 15-20 kids), and they really had a good time. It didn’t take too long for there to be a little huddle of moms chatting about school issues, local resources, pinging my brain for “what to do if…” situations. It was fun. It’s a great place to network and meet the people in my area. I can see if and when I go private, that would be where I might find some interested families. Not thinking that far now, though.

There was one lady who came and sat next to me. She said to me, “So, are you Audrey? Do you have a brother with Asperger’s? Someone told me I should come talk to you. I have autism.” And, boy, did she! She was cool. I think that that’s what it would be like to talk to Temple Grandin. Pedantic speech, either lack or or boring (as it boring into me, not boring, nothing to do) eye contact, asking the same questions over and over but in different ways (”How does your brother do now?”). I liked to see her enthusiasm to hear how well he functions in life. It seemed to give her hope for her own. She was a nice lady, and she said she’s always at Game Club, so I look forward to talking to her again.

Heading up to Seattle for the night. I’m worried I might be getting a cold (I’m Zycam-ming the he** out of it), so I’ll not kiss any babies!

Well, I think the last nail is in the coffin. I was called to pick up Isaak again from school today… Got upset during a math game in class, threw himself on floor, was told to remove himself, came back and shoved the other kid, and when they called me, he was throwing chairs in the office around the principal, yelling “Don’t tell her to come!” I’m glad I have that effect on him. I’m P.O.’ed. But, maybe this is what it takes to make me make a decision about placement. I have chatted with my principal again and have put a feeler out to my special ed director to see about transferring him into my school and my program. It’s not ideal (on the outside, at least), but I think it would be good for him and for me to get a handle on what the heck is going on. These past few months, since the start of the school year, it’s like some ferile child has infected our boy. He’s always been vocal and can be ornery, no doubt, but he has never resorted to this level of aggression and completely losing it in the drop of a hat. Usually, we can see it coming. But, he isn’t like this around us, so maybe getting him into my program where I can observe him in another setting will help me figure out what is going on.

I need a hot bath.

Crazy weekend, but fun! Dave’s two sisters and their families were here. It was great. The only thing we really miss down here is that–family get-togethers. If it weren’t for that one thing, I think this place would be perfect for us. Oh, well.

We had dinner at our local fav… Joe’s Crab Shack. Kids had a ball and were really good. Here they are:

Audra M., Jared (Sarah’s), Isaak, Gwen on his lap (Anna Marie’s), Eric and Andrew (Sarah’s).

The kids really had a great time.

We have decreased Isaak’s meds, the one that is “suspect” to us. He’s really had a good few days; a few times I could see him nearing the boiling point, but he was really easy to bring back down. It’s either just that he has a few days to unwind and we know how to help him effectively, or the decrease really is helping. Only time will tell. If it continues well, we will take him off completely over the Thanksgiving holiday so we can monitor him better.

Found out more about the scout incident. Won’t go into details, but the dummy, Isaak (said with all my love), threw the first punch after another scout was “assertive” with him in “his space” (in normal 9-year-old fashion, but in which way will set Isaak off), and there was a lovely brawl in the bathroom. When the whole story came out, sounds like three dumb 9-year-old boys making some bad choices, but Isaak did throw the first blow to set it off. Idiot. I’m the only one who can call him that, by the way. And it’s all out of love, you know. He’s not a “targeter”. I mean, he would never just go up to hurt someone or even really start something when his own interests aren’t involved, but he is a reacter, and if you flip the right switch (get in his face, get too close, tease him, taunt, try to make him react) he will respond. Not that it’s any excuse, by any means. He really has to learn to control those impulses.

I don’t think I wrote yet about his first official “counseling” appointment. It was so funny. We finally decided to do that since he had reached the age (hormones are starting to kick in) and was exhibiting self-destructive comments at times, and these weren’t things we felt we could really deal with behaviorally so much. I mean, we still will practice strategies and all, but some of this may be beyound our ability to sufficiently manage properly. Anyway, I took him to a counselor to get that started. I told he our biggest concern was anger management (especially during competitive games) and self-destructive talk when he loses it (”I’ll never be able to control it” “Autism is too much! I can’t do it” “You should just kill me now” and so forth). So, she sits in her office chair while he plays with legos on the floor (I think I would have had more respect for her if she’d even got down on the floor to play with him and nothing else!), and asked him really dumb questions. It all seemed so simplistic. She’d say things like, “So, do you think when you’re about to play a game that you can just tell yourself ‘I’m not playing to win, I’m playing to have fun’?” And I’m sitting there thinking, “Duh! You THINK we haven’t tried that already?” I mean, I’m sure it was a good place to start with most families, but if she knew any of our history, she would have known that basic techniques were already being employed with high fidelity. That was pretty much how the whole thing went and she never did begin to address the big issue of the self-talk. But, it was only a first visit, and I’m willing to give it some time (especially since I don’t have to pay for it). I just really hope there’s more to it than that as time goes on. Oh! And she’s ask him something, and if his answer didn’t fit the question or he didn’t reaspond, she’d look at me like “Are you going to do something?” or “Will you interpret?” Like, hey, lady, he’s autistic! Some things don’t process right. Do you know how to rephrase what you said or make sure you have his attention before you ask or something? I wonder if she’s ever treated a person with autism. But, again, just a first visit. I can wait and see.

Audra M. got a Chicken Pox booster (much to her delight! NOT!), and her arm is swollen and hard. I gave her some Benedryl, and she’s sleepy, so I’d better check on her before dragging her to church today.

Day was pretty good today, at least at school. Did have a nice meeting with our 2nd grade teacher (two students of mine in her class) who are dealing with teasing and some bullying now. Teacher’s great, and she’ll be on top of it, but it’s sad to see it start. I know it’s only the beginning (I say all these years later).

Took Audra M. to art lessons and Isaak to scouts. Unbeknownst to me (I’m at scouts, too), he and a friend got in fistacuffs with another scout. Still figuring out details (other than Isaak threw the first punch), and we’re not sure what we’re gonna do to the boy, but it’s not a happy house this evening. All this with Dave gone. Ugh.

My day today:

4:50 AM Heard Isaak get up to pee. Couldn’t go back to sleep.
6:00 AM Fell back asleep.
6:07 AM Had to get up for the day. Frantically got kids ready for school and took them to friend’s house who takes them to school.
7:45 AM Had a meeting at school.
10:30 AM Got a student really mad by telling him if he chose to write about “Breakfast” for a topic, he would have to write more than a menu but would have to add information about reasons why we should eat healthy, etc. Took it personally (he’s overweight) and went into hyper-cry mode.
1:00 PM Spent my usually slower afternoon testing a student so I didn’t have chance to get my regular prep done for next day.
3:30 PM Had another school meeting.
5:00 PM Picked up kids from Kids’ Club (where they go twice a week to play after school).
5:30 PM Did homework, crammed dinner down all our throats (Turkey, baked potatoes, peas; not bad!), fielded some phone calls.
6:45 PM Dropped off Audra M. to swimming and went to church to meet with bishopric member. Calling change coming up on Sunday. I’m happy to do anything; this is no different.
7:30 PM Dropped Isaak and dog back at home because he was falling asleep. Told him to go to bed while I picked up his sister.
8:00 PM Ran back to pick up Audra M. She and I got an ice cream on the way home. We both needed it!
8:30 PM Sent Audra to bed. Think it was the first time I sat down all day!

How was your day?

Well, Dave’s gone. At least for 2 days, then we get a day off! School and work. I love holidays. Lots to do, yes, but so much more relaxing and enjoyable to just be with family.

Had a pretty good day in school today. By now, most of the kids are in a good groove, understand the expectations, and have minimal behavior problems (that aren’t easily dealt with). There’s usually one blow a day from someone, and today was no exception. 5th grader didn’t want to do his math, which he had to complete before getting computer time, so he freaked out, screamed, threw a pencil, and had to be escorted to our room to cool down. Ah, the bliss. At this this time it wasn’t with me! I’m often the ones to “set them off” because I have high expectations when they’re with me (individual work as opposed to work in their classrooms).

Kids seemed to have a good day in school. Isaak had a good day. We had to get him after school yesterday because the principal had to pull him off the afternoon bus for screaming and freaking out (sound familiar? See paragraph two! Guess it’s a common theme). We have increased one of his medications, and I’m not sure if we’re seeing good or bad results or placebo effects, but so far, no big change for the good. I hate medications. It’s like a shot in the dark to find the right one. I don’t begrudge it. The other one he’s on has been a lifesaver (for him), but still, it’s hard to figure out.

Kids have friends over, so I will go and pay some attention to them (if I must!).

Isaak’s been having these bumps this school year, and the doctor increased the dose of one of his medications to see if that helps. Well, that medication makes him sleepy, so today he slept through half of church. Then, he got up, went to Primary, and freaked out about some game they were playing. I know it’s too early to tell, but if this dose doesn’t help AND it makes him sleepy all day, I’m going to give myself a concussion on the nearest wall. Don’t know what to do about this kid. He’s been all obsessed about game playing lately, so we’re pulling the plug this week (doing a black-out week). Then, we’ll decide how much we’ll put back in. I’m thinking maybe only playing on the weekends or something. I don’t know. I mean, it’s a tricky situation. Game playing is a nice let-down for him, a way for him to relax and gather himself back together; it’s a reward for good behavior, and so forth, but on the flip side, it becomes too important to him. He’s become a lazy bum who doesn’t want to do anything outside of school. I told him the other day that he has to choose one extracurricular activity to be engaged in. He said he’d do piano again (we took a break a while back). So now I have to find another teacher whose willing to take on the challenge.

Ack! Some days…

So, because we’re having a black-out week, I’m letting the kids watch all the Harry Potters today. Usually we don’t watch any TV on Sunday at all, so they think it’s a party. I’m gonna go snuggle up to them, then.

November 4, 2006

School pictures are in! These are the best we’ve ever had. We’re so happy we could cry.

Halloween was fun. We had some of the kids’ best friends join us for trick-or-treating. They had a blast. Isaak is the Grim Reaper in the middle, and Maggie/Audra is the cute pirate.

Isaak had said he was “too old” to go trick-or-treating, but once Cameron came, I guess he was young enough again! We ended up having a great time, but it was dang cold!

Kids came home with too much candy, the like of which Katie (the dog) got herself into the next day. Glad to see she’s still with us, cuz she ate a TON of candy while we were at work.

I was looking at that ball of rags today, realizing how big she’s getting. Only about 7-8 months, and she’s getting huge. Kids sure love her.

Here she is:

July (when we got her)…

She was shy and skittish and afraid of her own shadow.

September…

Spending time at the dog park helped her out of her shell tremendously. Now, she’s only submissive, but doesn’t pee herself whenever another dog comes near.

Today…

She’s a huge goofball. She loves her family, and LOVES the dog park (which it’s getting too cold to go to!). She may look like she’d make a good police dog, I think the only thing she’d do to a criminal is lick him to death.

Most pictures here curtesy of Audra/Maggie.